Conversations with Whores
David Himmel, Fiction David Himmel David Himmel, Fiction David Himmel

Conversations with Whores

Old men with cheap cigars talking to half naked women, who can’t waste too much time with one guy because it’s all about turnover. Beyoncé was playing on the jukebox and it sounded out of place. Hip-Hop didn’t belong there. It was too cool for what was really going on.

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Hagatha the Dog Witch
Fiction, David Himmel David Himmel Fiction, David Himmel David Himmel

Hagatha the Dog Witch

Hagatha, upon arriving in Chicago, had developed an allergy to cats. She tried Zyrtec, Claritin and Allegra, and all the potions and spells in her Witch Craft: Curses & Remedies book. Nothing helped. Her eyes watered, which made her face melt a little.

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A Big Night Out with the Micro Maidens
David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel

A Big Night Out with the Micro Maidens

When one thinks burlesque, what comes to mind is seductive choreography, feats of sexual prowess, a nod to yesteryear’s pinup girls, sirens pulling you into a subdued desire with their slow and calculated gyrating hips and arched backs. A peep show, a strip tease for the well-mannered crowd. Micro Maidens is not that. Micro Maidens is an aggressive strip club with pasties. But for the brave, adventure-seeking type, it’s big fun.

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No Quiero Taco Bell
David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel David Himmel

No Quiero Taco Bell

Why am I doing this? Why am I having to navigate a digital menu when I could just tell an employee my order with greater speed and ease because they know better how to navigate this thing? And while I was planning on using my credit card to pay, what if I wanted to use cash? What if someone who doesn’t have a credit card, like, say, a homeless person scrounges up enough money for a Crunch Wrap Supreme? How are they to make the purchase and feed themselves? It’s rare that I feel this way, but I felt… offended.

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